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	<title>F1NGers &#187; Humour</title>
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	<link>http://f1ngers.com</link>
	<description>The Most Unofficial Formula 1™ Group</description>
	<pubDate>Tue, 04 Nov 2008 10:04:50 +0000</pubDate>
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			<item>
		<title>[Pitpass] Bring on the Microsoft jokes</title>
		<link>http://f1ngers.com/2007/06/09/pitpass-bring-on-the-microsoft-jokes</link>
		<comments>http://f1ngers.com/2007/06/09/pitpass-bring-on-the-microsoft-jokes#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 09 Jun 2007 08:38:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Sparx</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[F1]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Humour]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://f1ngers.com/2007/06/09/pitpass-bring-on-the-microsoft-jokes/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Pitpass.com is one of the sites I rely on for good, reasonably unbiased F1 reporting. I recently came across this page on their site detailing the ribbing that would be put forth when the FIA declared that Microsoft MES has been selected as the official ECU supplier to the FIA Formula One World Championship in [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Pitpass.com is one of the sites I rely on for good, reasonably unbiased F1 reporting. I recently came across <a href="http://www.pitpass.com/fes_php/pitpass_news_item.php?fes_art_id=28614" target="_blank">this page on their site</a> detailing the ribbing that would be put forth when the FIA declared that Microsoft MES has been selected as the official ECU supplier to the FIA Formula One World Championship in 2008, 2009 and 2010. This is sure to have caused quite a few of you to smile&#8230;</p>
<p class="pparticletext">After all, so many of us either use, or have used Microsoft products, with varying degrees of success and/or frustration.</p>
<p dragover="true" class="pparticletext">There are some very funny images (obviously modified) to elicit quite a few chuckles.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Why did the chicken cross the F1 Road?</title>
		<link>http://f1ngers.com/2007/06/09/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-f1-road</link>
		<comments>http://f1ngers.com/2007/06/09/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-f1-road#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 09 Jun 2007 07:38:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Sparx</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[F1]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Humour]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://f1ngers.com/2007/06/09/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-f1-road/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Why did the chicken cross the road?
A look at possible answers given by F1 personalities past and present&#8230; 

 Mika Hakkinen McLaren 
 &#8220;(pause) that&#8217;s tough question&#8221; (pause) &#8220;maybe&#8221; (pause) &#8220;maybe it&#8217;s a
question you have to ask the chicken.&#8221;  


 David Coulthard McLaren 
 &#8220;It couldn&#8217;t get more blatant. He could see me coming [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h2>Why did the chicken cross the road?</h2>
<p>A look at possible answers given by F1 personalities past and present&#8230; <span id="more-25"></span></p>
<dl>
<dt> <strong>Mika Hakkinen</strong> <em>McLaren</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;(pause) that&#8217;s tough question&#8221; (pause) &#8220;maybe&#8221; (pause) &#8220;maybe it&#8217;s a<br />
question you have to ask the chicken.&#8221;  </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>David Coulthard</strong> <em>McLaren</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;It couldn&#8217;t get more blatant. He could see me coming and then just crossed straight in front of me. I had to follow it for thirteen corners, and on each one the marshalls were waving a blue flag&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Michael Schumacher</strong> <em>Ferrari</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;The chicken is allowed to move over, that is clearly within the rules.<br />
The chicken can make one move to defend his line. But it can&#8217;t zig-zag backwards and forwards across the road. What it did was quite fair and within the rules.&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Rubens Barrichello</strong> <em>Ferrari</em> </dt>
<dd> When I saw the red comb on the chicken&#8217;s head, I thought it was Michael and moved over to let it pass. I&#8217;d like to dedicate the chicken crossing the road to my great friend Ayrton Senna&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Ralf Schumacher</strong> <em>Williams</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;Sh*t, that b*****d chicken tried to ruin my f*****g race- what a w*nker!&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Jenson Button</strong> <em>Williams</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;To be honest, I have seen chickens crossing the road before in F3 so I knew what to expect.&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Giancarlo Fisichella</strong> <em>Benetton</em>  </dt>
<dd> &#8220;I am very very &#8216;appy for the chicken to cross the road.&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Alex Wurz</strong> <em>Benetton</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;There are some chickens who have more road to cross than others and therefore take longer to cross, it has nothing to do with the speed of those chickens&#8221;. </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Johnnie Herbert</strong> <em>Jaguar</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;we are still trying to catch it to understand how it managed to cross the whole road&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Jacques Villeneuve</strong> <em>BAR</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;So what the f*** if the chicken gets run over. The chicken wanted to cross the road.&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Ricardo Zonta</strong> <em>BAR</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;It was very traumatic to see the chicken cross the road because there could have been a big accident. I&#8217;ll never look at chickens in the same way again.&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Pedro Diniz</strong> <em>Sauber</em>  </dt>
<dd> &#8220;I saw that the chicken had left a gap and moved over to take advantage - unfortunately we touched and the chicken knocked me out of a certain eleventh place&#8230;&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Jean Alesi</strong> <em>Prost</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;The chicken had no right to block me as it was crossing. I was clearly able to cross faster than the chicken.&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Jos Verstappen</strong> <em>Arrows</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;I went off because of the stupid chicken!&#8221;  </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Marc Gene</strong> <em>Minardi</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;I lost radio with my team, so I did not let him pass, I thought we were competing for position&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Gaston Mazzacane</strong> <em>Minardi</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;I was not aware of the chicken behind me trying to cross the road. The blue flags were put out but not waved, and Minardis don&#8217;t have mirrors.&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Irvine, Coulthard and Villeneuve</strong> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;The way the chicken crossed the road is very dangerious and has a lot to answer for.&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Ron Dennis</strong> <em>McLaren, Chief</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;I suspect fowl play. Just another one of Ferrari&#8217;s tactics to introduce a chicken into the race. I will be protesting, as clearly an electronic aid will have been used to freeze the chicken before introducing it to the track&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Adrian Newey</strong> <em>McLaren, Technical Director</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;He appeared to be running a lot of wing&#8221;  </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Luca di Montezemolo</strong> <em>Ferrari, President</em>  </dt>
<dd> &#8220;The chicken knew that it couldn&#8217;t get to the other side of the road first, it had to wait for the rooster and let it through.&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Ross Brawn</strong> <em>Ferrari, Technical Director</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;I think it is hypocritical for people to keep focussing on the actions of one chicken, when other chickens have been guilty of the same actions in the past!&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Frank Williams</strong> <em>Williams, Chief</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;There is no confirmation of the chicken crossing the road. Currently, all we know is that the chicken is at the side of the road, and it may cross or it may not.&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Patrick Head</strong> <em>Williams, Technical Director</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;Looking at the sructural rigidity of its shell, then putting that into the background, as it seems to work for the chicken, we have then to wonder about the tractive effort available with wings in various positions. I&#8217;m concerned that the regulators will be looking at these movable wings more carefully, as we haven&#8217;t been able to used them for years, but now there&#8217;s been a precedent set I think a lot of designers will be burning midnight oil.<br />
The weight seems very low, too.&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Gerhard Berger</strong> <em>Head of BMW-Williams F1 affairs, ex-driver</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;The chicken has crossed the roads well this year. Each crossing has been handled professionally, and the crossings have gone better than we couldhave hoped for.&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Flavio Briatore</strong> <em>Benetton, Chief</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;There are chickens who cross the road and chickens that are wankers. I ama chicken that crosses the road.&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Craig Pollock</strong> <em>BAR, Chief</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;We wish the chicken the best as it progresses from one side of the road to the other. The chicken has performed well on this side of the road, andit is sad to see one of our original chickens moving on.&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Alain Prost</strong> <em>Prost, Chief</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;I &#8216;ad the pen ready for &#8216;im to sign ze contract an&#8217; &#8216;e just flew&#8230;..&#8221;  </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Max Mosley</strong> <em>FIA, President</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;We have to find ways of slowing that chicken down and making them safer.<br />
For that reason the FIA are changing the rules so that chickens crossingroads will be equipped with special chicken bodywork and neck supports.&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Nelson Piquet</strong> <em>ex-driver, 3*WDC</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;That chicken is not fast enough to cross the road. Its also very old andugly. I wouldnt eat it even if I was starving! I hope it gets run over by a truck.&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Olivier Groillard</strong> <em>ex-driver</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;I didn&#8217;t see him&#8221;  </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Schumacher fans</strong> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;Der Chicken has inferior feathers&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Hockenheim Management</strong> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;We are looking into it&#8221;  </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Silverstone Management</strong> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;How did he get there at all?&#8221;  </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Murray Walker</strong> <em>legendary BBC/ITV F1 commentator</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;I am not going to say anything in these final few laps but I do believethe chicken can now just coast to the other side of the road&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;..Oh<br />
No!&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Martin Brundle</strong> <em>ex-driver, ITV commentator</em> </dt>
<dd> &#8220;I&#8217;d heard that this weekend, the Chuckon was going to cross the rood&#8230;.<br />
I&#8217;m all for it, so long as Cool-Thud lets him through!&#8221; </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>James Allen</strong> <em>ITV pitlane reporter</em>  </dt>
<dd> &#8220;Hey guys, you&#8217;re not going to believe this, but the chicken&#8217;s on a<br />
different strategy to the bantams.&#8221;  </dd>
<dt>
</dt>
<dt> <strong>Murray Walker and Martin Brundle</strong> <em>ITV</em> </dt>
<dd> <em>Murray</em>: And as the lights go out, it&#8217;s GO GO GO for the duck as it dives towards&#8230;<br />
<em>Martin</em>: It&#8217;s a chicken Murray.<br />
<em>Murray</em>: Yes, yes, it&#8217;s a chicken, charging into the lead. I think it&#8217;s got<br />
this race sewn up.<br />
<em>Martin</em>: The chicken&#8217;s stopped, Murray<br />
<em>Murray</em>: DISASTER for the chicken! This will throw the whole badger<br />
crossing championship wide open! </dd>
</dl>
<p><em> Collected from various sources  </em></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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